Purim: They tried to kill us, we survived. Let’s tell the story, wear silly costumes, and get wasted. (Optional: have a carnival or a play!)
Passover: They enslaved us, God freed us. Remember this via a big ceremony/feast and then don’t eat bread for a week. This is a big one; you’re going to have to clean your house and host all your relatives.
Tu B'Shevat: It’s Earth Day, let’s eat some fruit.
Simchas Torah: We read the entire Torah every year, and we got to the end! Let’s have a dance party and then start all over again!
Tisha B'Av: They destroyed our temples. That sucked.
Rosh HaShanah: Happy New Year! It’s time to ask (and grant) forgiveness for the wrongs done in the past year, pledge to do better, and wish for a sweet new year. And go to synagogue for HOURS.
Yom Kippur: Rosh HaShanah’s somber counterpart. God decides on this day your fate for the next year. Repent your sins, hope for forgiveness, and fast. (And go to synagogue for HOURS.)
Yom HaShoah: Holocaust Remembrance Day.
Sukkot: Harvest festival! Sleep in a hut under the stars.
Shemini Atzeret: Man, I don’t even know?
Shavuot: God gave us the Torah! That was pretty nice of him.
Chanukah: They busted up our temple and tried to forcibly convert us. We responded with guerilla warfare. Let’s eat some fried food. Candles!
So basically the entire Jewish holiday calendar is giving the middle finger to death and high-fiving, with or without various combinations of prayer and foods.
Yup. Or as we say, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.”
thank you for the desc’s bcs they are beautiful and i am now educated
A handy table for everyone:
Y’all have no idea how happy it makes me to see my goyim followers reblogging this. Really. It means the world to me.
literally just discovered that the song i listened to on repeat when my grandpa died when i was 10 that literally got me through that time bc i was so sad and related to every word was about the singers grandpa dying… the world is fucking crazy
so i went on birthright over winter break and while i was on the trip i could tell that like 2 of the guys on the trip were into me but i was like whatever i’m friends w these guys and they’re freshman so i’m not gonna fuck them bc i’m a junior and 21 and they are fully 18. but basically classes started this past week and one of my friends in my major’s little from her sorority is really good friends with a couple of the guys on the trip and apparently they were aLL IN LOVE WITH ME?? like she said (from one guy on the trip who i thought was my good pal but is apparently in love with) that EVERY SINGLE BOY ON THE TRIP WAS FIGHTING OVER ME???? WTF??? and why were they ALL freshman?? like none of the guys on this trip were over 19 i’m annoyed
cancelling plans is ok. being drunk in the back of the car is ok. crying like a baby coming home from the bar is ok. sneaking in through the garden gate is ok. do what you need to do to cope xx
